When I got to my hospital room, I had another contraction when I entered the room. I looked at the nurse beside me, who was sporting these HUGE Harry Carey glasses and said in my demon voice, "Aren't you going to help me?!?!?!?" She just smiled. When the contraction passed, I told her I was sorry. I had to apologize several times this day.
When Jason finally got to the room, he was parking the car, he asked me how I was doing. I actually put his entire head in my mouth, ripped it off his neck and spit it at the Harry Carey nurse.
I wanted my epidural sooooooooooooo bad. I was able to have it right away...thank goodness. Before my epidural, I had sworn out loud several times. Big bad words. When the contraction would pass, I would apologize to everyone in the room for my terrible language and I that I would really try to control it from here on out.
About half way into my labor Sam decided to flip sunny side up, which means he was face up. Ouch. They wanted him to flip back, so they put me on all fours...real comfortable. My hair was hanging in my face, so my mom put it in a pony tail (while I was on all fours.) When Sam finally flipped around, I could lay back down, on my side, again. That was when others realized that my ponytail was actually right above my forehead, but no one dared told me that I should fix my hair. You should see the pictures with my unicorn horn! Nice.
One day, when Sam was six, he hoisted himself up on a swing and fell backwards off of it. He tried to catch himself by putting out his arm, but ended up breaking his wrist. So he had a cast on his sixth birthday.
When the doctor finally came and gave me my epidural, I told him I could marry him. He said, "I am already married." I told him, "Like I was serious. See this mess I am in...I must be married to!" No, I didn't say that out loud, but I did in my head. I knew not to say it out loud to the man that was in control of my pain!
I had Sam on the same day that Jennifer Aniston was having her baby on the show Friends. All I wanted was to have my baby before she had hers! I told nurses that. They just smiled. Jennifer Aniston beat me. By two hours.
Have you seen the movie Terms of Endearment? At one point in the movie, while Debra Winger was in the hospital, her mom goes out to the nursing station and yells at the nurses to give Debra pain killers. Her mom is freaking out. My mom did that too on the day Sam was born. The doctors were telling me that I needed to have a c-section and asking me all sorts of questions. My mom freaked. She went on to tell them how I was in too much pain and SHE CAN'T MAKE THOSE KIND OF DECISIONS RIGHT NOW!! Like the doctor would say, "Ok, we will talk to her when she is feeling better."